If Only...

Complete this sentence:  If Only I were [fill in the blank], I would be [fill in the blank].

What “If Only” commentary is running through your head?  If Only I were, what? More educated, experienced or smart enough? Thinner, sexier or beautiful? Younger, healthier or fit enough? Wealthier? Single, divorced or married? Lived elsewhere? Oh, the things we tell ourselves to keep us from being happy with ourselves and fully living our lives as they are today!

And sadly, most of our If Only thoughts are what we believe will make us happy, contented and fulfilled.  If only that were true! Let’s all take a collective heavy sigh. If only commentary is often complete nonsense, simply fear, wrapped in self-limiting beliefs.

What would it take for you to say, I am enough?  Repeat after me: “I am enough where I am, who I am, as I am.” I’ll be honest, for me it is an on-going process. My heart knows that I must stop wishing my mind, body and life were different, but it is taking my head a little longer to get the message.

The limitations we set on ourselves keep us from fully living.  It’s easy to get caught up in your version of the hand that life has dealt you. But is it true? Does it even matter? In the grand scheme of things, usually not. These stories help us hide our potential from the world and ourselves. If Only we could change the stories we tell ourselves.  I found that asking myself a simple question helped me do just that.

“So What?”  When I start thinking If Only I were this or that, I ask myself, “So What?” This one little question stops the stories I’m telling myself in their tracks.

Try it!  So What if I’m not [fill in the blank]? So What allows you to thumb your nose at the restrictions and limitations you place on yourself, wishing and waiting for things to be different. This helps me flip the switch from negative and limited thinking. I’m no longer stuck with my same old story as my mind wraps itself around new alternatives and possibilities.  So What often leads to the next big question: Now What…?

It is time to acknowledge the magnificence of being you! To quote the wisdom of Dr. Seuss:

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

I don’t know about you, but many of the things I wish were different about me are what make me, frankly, ME. My journey to nourish my soul and ultimate self-care would be forever stalled if I did not embrace the sum total of me, especially the aspects of me I’d prefer belonged to someone else.

As we embrace our humanness, we become more of the divine soul we set out to be.  A year ago, I began the humbling exercise to embrace my humanness. That meant learning to love, or at least accept, myself as I am, warts and all, as well as wrinkles and pesky extra pounds. Embracing my humanness meant that I would love myself enough to stop the negative self-talk about my body, wishing it were different and care for myself without the stories of not being enough.

Embracing my humanness meant to accept there are days I feel creatively challenged, spiritually broken and heartsick. Embracing my humanness helps me move through those days and not get stuck in the stories of not being enough.

And there are times when fear gets the upper hand and I have to say So What to help me face and move past my fears. We live in a time of collective fear and it is easy to get swept up in the debris of not being enough. Embracing my humanness often means forgiving myself for being a fearful human.

Embracing my humanness allows me to live in gratitude for the gifts of my life, rather than blithely wishing for something different.

When we take away our story of not being enough, and embrace our humanness, we find we all are perfect as is, just as we are intended to be, warts and all.